Jeff (moonlessnights) wrote,

...that night in Toronto...

My feelings of isolation are not as bad as they once were but they are still there. It leads to the odd problems associated with feeling disconnected. This means that I am oddly moved to emotion. While, at work, a pointless argument will quickly cause me to fly into a rage while, at home, it sometimes means odd things move me to tears.

I was watching some videos of The Tragically Hip performing their farewell tour, as it stops in Toronto. Seeing the crowd erupt, while they play Bobcaygeon, at the line "that night in Toronto" can easily move me to tears.

It is a beautiful moment where we realize that we are all here, together. We build this great city, simply by existing within it, connected to each other through economics, culture, transportation, and a myriad of other dimensions.

It makes me happy... but also sad.

We are all here, together, but how come I don't know any of these people?

It is a great reminder that we are connected, but why do I still feel so alone?

'Bout a quarter after nine,
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It's not that odd, it just means you need to release that anger and those tears in a safe space and your body is probably reminding you that you haven't really done that in a long time.
It's happened to me too.

I know you feel alone but you're really not and I'm not just saying that because I'm here.

I suppose that "isolated" is a more appropriate term than "alone".

I feel that I am not really "with" those who surround me, for some reason.
Ah, all the great people feel that way.

We're going against the current and that can be very hard but that also makes us very strong.

Forging new paths. We are the ones who keep society on its toes. The ones who are not on their toes
have given up and become the sheep and somehow they are the ones who fit in, most of them aren't happy with their position either and probably more miserable than we are.

I hope you feel better soon! Looks like the hot weather is going away, it's storming here.


October 4 2016, 03:19:37 UTC 4 months ago

Emotional waves like that are a huge indicator of depression; ever check that out?
No, I don't think that pathologizing "my emotional state is odd because of a general sense of poor interpersonal connectivity" is fruitful.

Instead of anaesthetizing this, I would rather solve the problem of feeling disconnected or not engaged.